Testimony

A posteriori testimony of evidence

 

This is the story of how I became a Christian. It bears witness to how God personally intervened in my life. This benevolent event is worth sharing as it is my outward profession of faith, a solemn attestation to the truth of a personal spiritual experience.

 

There was a time in my life of some despair. I was unmarried, but living with a young lady who fell pregnant.  Although I knew in my heart that she was not the person I ultimately would like to marry, I stayed with her the for the sake of the girl child for another four years. Although my daughter was the centre of my life, the relationship with my partner was not sustainable. The relationship eventually broke down leading to separation and the loss of family life. I was devastated and honestly felt that life no longer had any meaning. This was a very stressful time and the fact that I basically lost control of my daughter to her detriment was bringing about an unparalleled amount of anxiety and a sense of loss which I could not deal with; so condemnation and existential frustration set in. One night I went to have dinner at my folks and I subsequently decided to sleep over. I could not sleep that night struggling with not knowing what to do next. Unable to sleep, sometime during the night I picked up several of their magazines next to the bed.  One of them was a Christian publication. I was interested in one of the articles and started to read it – in fact I could not put the magazine down until I read it cover to cover. What happened next indescribable – for the first time I had a sense of acceptance to the fact that there was a God and I honestly felt regret and sorrow for my previous state of being. I had the sense that something of enormous proportion had just taken place and wasn’t quite sure what, or the implications that it was going to have on my life, but I had a complete sense of peace about it. Shortly after another thing happened in my life, and that was that a lady friend entered my life that was a believing Christian.  She invited me to attend a Bible study group and for the first time I was open to it and even agreed to attend church. Shortly after that during a celebration service I was moved unequivocally to accept God at a deeper level, and to become His disciple. At that time my life changed radically.  My moral gauge changed(Making a l. I gave up on the previous immoral lifestyle, accepted a corporate job where I remained employed for eighteen years, and put my trust in God to restore my daughter back to me.  Lone and behold a few weeks later my ex inexplicably dropped my daughter off at my mom to her care. I married the friend that God brought into my path (we are still married – now eighteen years later!).

As an ardent sceptic, even in the face of some much evidence, I could not help to feel that maybe there was a level of emotion and coincidence in all of it. I enquired of God; He then revealed something else I had not consciously realized: previously I suffered regularly from a specific disturbing nightmare, one that maybe most people have from time to time.  Mine however happened very regularly.  It felt like I was awake, yet unable to move or talk, literally trapped. I was convinced that this was the way in which I’m going to die, yet I could not touch or speak to those around me. It was always a horrifying experience – it felt like I’m experiencing death at an emotional level almost on a daily basis. God revealed to me that since I put my trust in Him, without even realising it, the nightmares had inexplicably disappeared by His providence.

 Jose

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